You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.
William Shakespeare (via stophatin)

(Source: emilybreadner)

(Reblogged from fractured-joie-de-vivre-deactiv)
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Mitch Hedberg
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Mitch Hedberg
lol

lol

lol

lol

LMAO! These are awesome!

LMAO! These are awesome!